Akamaru's Bath Day
by xxx GAARA xxx
Summary: Akamaru is dirty Akamaru needs a bath, it is a long process, with it take all of Konoha to bath this dirty mutt? THANK YOU TO OUR REVIWERS, vote for pairings next chappy Ch.6 UP , 10 reviews to update
1. It begins

Akamaru's Bath Day Ch.1

Disclaimer:

We don't own Naruto, although we still wish that we did, Yes we said we, WE IS TWO PEOPLE we are not a split personalitized nerd, we are two crazy really really really bored teenagers.

Gaara: **watches little cursor move across the screen, entranced**

Sasuke: **smacks**

Gaara: "But I was watching it"

Sasuke: **begins to watch little cursor**

Gaara: **kills**

Gaara: "ITS MINE"

* * *

Akamaru rolled over on his sleeping mat, and twitched his feet dreaming. Akamaru woke from his pleasant dream to hear Kiba's feet running across the floor.

"AKAMARU GET YOUR LAZY ASS SELF OUT OF BED !" yelled Kiba, particularly close to Akamaru's ear, while gently rolling the half-awake dog. Akamaru rolled irritably out of bed, lunging in a flying dog ninja move at Kiba's face, teeth bared. Only to find he had missed and collided with the wall. Kiba laughed mercilessly and dragged the still dazed dog to wash tub on the counter, that the dog hadn't noticed before.

Akamaru struggled in Kiba's hands, now very full of energy.

"Akamaru, calm down we have done this many times before, I do not want to have to bring in the elite ninjas

AGAIN. Remember last time"

_FLASHBACK:_

_Akamaru glanced lazily at almost dead Kiba ,and the many friends who spilled ramen on Akamaru's clean mat, it smelt like fish and noodles. Kiba fluttered open his tired eyes and stared at the mess in his once so clean house "this is gonna take a while to clean up……mommy….help". Kiba glanced at Akamaru and noticed he had ramen broth on his fur. He grabbed the dirty dog and hauled him to the wash tub…. Three days later, twelve sweaty ninja's and one clean dog left the Kiba's tornado of a house. _

_END FLASHBACK_ muhawhawhawhawhaw

Kiba shivered at the memory, while Akamaru smirked happily and thought 'this is gonna be fun'.

* * *

A/N:

First fanfic go easy but critisim is good, complements even better. NO FLAMES we see flames we kill flamer.

Now please review,

Just push the lovely review button


	2. Princess

Akamaru's Bath Day CH.2

**Disclaimer:** Once again we don't own Naruto we wish we did, but we do own Gaara **gets hit with shoe**

damn we don't, only dreams.

Gaara: "mmhmmmm in your dreams not mine never mine"

"Damn"

Sasuke: **snickers**

(major Sasuke Bashing)

* * *

Kiba was amazed so far they had gotten through the soaking and the drenching and the soaping without any struggle or incident,

" maybe this will be easier than I thought" he said aloud, big mistake. Akamaru jumped out of the wash tub, drenching Kiba and sending bubbles flying throughout the house. He torn through the back door and jumped face first in the largest dirtiest muddiest puddle Konoha has ever seen. Then as if in protest Akamaru ran around the yard, ripping out flowers and grass. He ran back into the house and jumped on every single bit of furniture he could find, even Kiba's beloved bed. Kiba blinked, blinked again, his house was gone, in its place was mud, a lot of mud, squishy, dirty, icky, muddy, mud, everywhere.

"Maybe, I will call reinforcements, my friends wont be happy though, they still remember last time"

Akamaru reported back to the kitchen, dirty, muddy, and very very pleased. Kiba inched to the phone, while staring at Akamaru hoping he didn't realize. Akamaru noticed what Kiba was doing and lunged for the phone, in a one last attempt he grabbed the phone stealing it just before Kiba's hand reached it. This time it was Kiba who ran into the wall, not Akamaru, Akamaru turned around and smirked at Kiba one last time before darting out the door. He quickly ran to the back fence, and began to dig, he knew have that much time. His owner was a ninja and would recover soon. Kiba struggled to his feet, yelling bloody murder he ran to the backyard, and lunged in his oh so graceful ninja style at the fence, just as Akamaru slipped under it. Once again running into a hard surface face first, Kiba grimaced. Meanwhile Akamaru was having the time of his life running through Konoha. When suddenly **smack** he ran into that cute little pink poodle with its precious purple bow from across the street. Akamaru trotted after the poodle, Kiba had followed Akamaru and was waiting across the street and was about to grab him when Sasuke in a towel came running out onto the street.

"Princess, get your pink fluffy ass back here" screamed Sasuke bubbles and all. Kiba pulled out a camera, from seemingly no where, and began to click madly.

"I have serious blackmail" screamed Kiba. Sasuke turned at the noise, jumped ten feet into the air and pulled his towel closer to himself.

"how long have you been there he" he screeched in a totally unmanly voice.

" long enough to gather serious blackmail" grinned Kiba waving the small camera in Sasukes stunned and totally white face.

"Oh god what do I have to do to stop you from pasting it on the internet, everywhere" grimaced Sasuke

"I actually wasn't gonna do that, but now that you mention it, it's a great idea" said Kiba his grin widening. Sasuke howled in despair and threw himself to his knees sobbing pitifully. Kiba looked down at Sasuke

"well since I don't want to put you through to much trouble, remember that incident last year?". Sasuke raised his head with tears streaming down his face, and said suspiciously

"what incident?" Kiba smiled rather evilly

"that little Akamaru bathing day incident"

Sasukes mouth widened in horror he shuddered,

"noo, noo, not again, I still have mental scars"

"Oh cry me a river, _princess_" mocked Kiba "its either that or severe loss of social standings, personally I'm up for the blackmail". Sasuke slowly raised himself to his knees in a rather defeated way,

"fine….ok I'll do it"

* * *

A/N:

Sorry for the sasuke bashing, but we had to pick on somebody and we figured it may as well be the guy with hair that looks like a chickens ass. Anyways Sasuke lover or not just click the pretty review button.

No flamers


	3. Naruto's Cult

Akamaru's Bath Day CH.3

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, although we still wish we did. Hella hella wish we did

Gaara: hella hella?

Sasuke: Shut up no brows **raises pointy nose in air** its obviously a cult thing

Us: Hella yup **grins** ….. wait nooo cult thing

Gaara: Your nuts

Us: we know

Sasuke: Hella

A/n probably more Sasuke bashing actually were out to bash everybody, except Akamaru, so no hard feelings, jking jking I know were losing fans with this but we like it and its called fanFICTION people we have the keyboard we are the writers DEAL WITH IT POWER OF THE KEYBOARD…..

* * *

Sasuke slammed the door in Kibas face and began yelling random things at him, and Kiba being the smart cookie he body slammed the unlocked door causing his momentum to carry him straight into the wall. Kiba rubbed his head for the third time that day, and decided to wait in the living room rather not wanting to see a naked Sasuke getting dressed. He didn't swing that way…..yet.

Sasuke was in his room completely dressed and having lengthy totally one-sided conversation with his dog. Sasuke glared at the fluffy pink poodle.

"well thanks to you and that troublemaker mutt of yours, I'm in trouble up to my eyeballs and trouble has blackmail". Princess stared stupidly at him with her sickly sweet stare,

" Oh well I cant stay mad at you, after all we've been through" Sasuke reached under the bed to retrieve Princess's favourite toy, her perfect blue rubber ball which she loved to chew. As Sasuke threw the rubber ball absentmindedly at the wall it hit a pretty pink flower vase, that he had made in honour of princess. His thoughts run long and far until they reached the night he met his own true love, Princess.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Sasuke had gone to the most popular Sake bar in Konoha at the request of his older brother Itachi. Now he regretted his decision as he was completely drunk and wearing something that resembled a mini skirt. Itachi meanwhile was enjoying his cruel little game as he watched his brother stumble out of the Sake bar still wearing the mini skirt. Silently he followed his brother out of the Sake bar and watched as he stumbled into the pet store, looking for a place to throw up. He looked around the pet store, Itachi was still watching as his completely drunk little brother paid four-million yen for and expensive barking pink fluffy thing. Itachi smiled evilly and thought, well I made my brother look like a fag this has been a great day._ _His brother stumbled out of the pet store,_

"_what is that?" Itachi frowned as he caught up with his little brother._

"_It's a miniature poodle" sang eight year old Sasuke happily.._

"_What are you going to name it?" said Itachi slyly _

"_I dunno" murmured Sasuke still completely totally and utterly drunk._

"_How about……Princess?" Itachi suggested sneakily _

_Sasuke clapped his hands in sheer drunkenness delight._

"_Yes her name shall be Princess, thank you Itachi" Sasuke hugged his older brother tightly around the waist, almost choking the life out of poor Itachi_

_END FLASHBACK_

Sasuke happily remember snatches of that night, but that was the last time he spoke with Itachi, before his parents were murdered. But the smile slipped of his face as he recalled the problem that awaited him downstairs.

Akamaru tore through the alleyways getting dirtier and dirtier with every step. He had left a pretty good trail the game wouldn't be any fun if Kiba didn't catch him once or twice. Sasuke rejoined Kiba downstairs and resigned himself to his fate.

"Alright" Kiba grinned "time to blackmail more recruits". Sasuke sweat dropped and wondered how many more innocent people would be submitted to Kiba's cruelty. However he had to admit, admit but never ever tell Kiba that this might be kinda possibly maybe fun. Kiba dishevelled Sasuke through the streets. Kiba stopped at Naruto's shack house type thing, he knocked on the door. 'This will be so easy Naruto is such a baka', thought Kiba to himself, grinning. A half-asleep Naruto opened the door, immediately Kiba said

"we know your secret"

"Come in" said Naruto with shifty eyes, ' wow I didn't think it would be that easy' Kiba thought to himself. Naruto glanced at Sasuke,

"you better leave him out here" whispered Naruto to Kiba, Kiba once again being the smart cookie he was, slipped a rope around Sasuke's neck and attached it to Naruto's doorknob, and smiled happily, closing the door behind him as he went inside. Sasuke smirked 'what a baka, I could just untie this if I wanted to'. He reached for the rope when a thought popped into his head, one word, blackmail. Sasuke sat down miserably on the steps, as he waited for Kiba and Naruto to emerge.

Naruto and Kiba sat down on Naruto's very dirty couch.

"So, Kiba, how did you find out the I am the Grand Master of the cult of Sasuke haters". Kiba blinked and struggled for an answer.

"ummm ummm um………BUG BOY TOLD ME"

"did he now" said Naruto quietly

"yes' said Kiba loudly, thinking quickly, "and I promise I wont tell Sakura if you promise to help me" Naruto's eyes widen

"nooo don't tell Sakura, she'll hate me, then she'll kill me" naruto panicked "ok ok I'll help you" Kiba grinned.

"Naruto meet your task". Kiba pointed at he open window just in time to see Akamaru run by covered in everything imaginable. Naruto blinked.

"noo not this again" Nauto wailed to himself.

* * *

A/N: Yeah well we may few fans, with the cult of the sasuke haters, we were debating what cult to do and Sasuke haters was perfect.. So now that you've read our monsterous creation, click the damn purple button, you know which one. Next chappy more girls. 


	4. The Girls

Akamaru's Bath Day Ch.4

Disclaimer: Still no hope of owning Naruto **tears**

Kiba: I HAVE A STORY I HAVE A STORY NYAHNYHANYHANYHAN

Gaara: **stabs** I have more than you

Kiba: Damn you

Sasuke: I have more than both of you

Gaara and Kiba together: **kills** At least our hair doesn't look like a chicken's ass

Hinata: to much violence **faints**

Gaara: **maniacal laughter **HELLA

Us: **blinks** Hells Ya

Gaara: nooo HELLA

(notice how our chapters are getting slightly longer, note more main character bashing mostly Sasuke)

* * *

Kiba was ecstatic, now he had both Naruto and Sasuke on a leash. A big gold leash with the words "Property of Kiba" on it. He in his tiny, almost nonexistent brain, he was formulating a plan. Since he had both Sasuke and Naruto on a leash. As long as he held both Naruto and Sasuke on big gold platter, he Kiba would have all the girls in Konoha running to his aid. All he had to was head over to Sakura's house were he knew they were having a sleep over, including Hinata, Temari, Ten Ten, and surprisingly enough Ino. Kiba and Naruto headed out the door, Kiba still thinking Sasuke was tied up. He was right, there was Sasuke sitting dejectedly on the steps, looking much worse for wear. 

"What happened to you?" asked Naruto curiously. Sasuke pointed to the alleyway,

"that happened to me". Kiba glanced at the alleyway, were he saw his dog looking, sitting rather innocently on a pile of trash.

"Oh" chorused Naruto and Kiba. Sasuke glanced at Naruto, Sasuke thought 'I wonder what Kiba blackmailed him with'. He noticed that Naruto looked rather shifty eyed. He noticed they were headed for Sakura's house, he paled noticeably. He screamed

"UMM HELLO I'M STILL TYED HERE". Kiba glanced and turned to Naruto, his eye glinted maliciously

"oh yes we almost forget to untie the bait". Sasuke turned and tried to run, terrified of being the bait, but was yanked back cruelly by the rope. He lay on the ground gasping for breath, Naruto didn't try to stifle the laughter and instead laughed maniacally. Kiba inched away and began untie the wretched Uchiha heir. Akamaru had in fact taken a few moments to land on the Uchiha heir, and began licking his red face. Kiba lunged for the dirty mutt well yelling for Naruto. Akamaru jumped off the red faced Sasuke well Kiba who was bent over in the attempt to catch the mutt, slipped on a puddle of mud. His head collided with Naruto's as Naruto bent also to catch Akamaru. As they collapsed on the now purple faced Sasuke, he gasped for breath and began to struggle. Naruto and Kiba began to pick them selves up off the now breathless Sasuke. As Akamaru tore towards Sakura's house. They picked Sasuke up and began heading towards the prison known as Sakura's house. But as they arrived at the front of the walk. Kiba stopped, and began to have a mad seizure, the girls wer playing very loud girly music. However sasuke began nodding his head to the beat, (if there was any), a smile playing on his lips. Naruto twitched, he heard giggling that wasn't the girls, and wasn't female at all.

"What the hell are you doing!" Kiba screamed at the oh so diligent Naruto. Naruto didn't resond and continued to drag poor Kiba over to the back window. Were he pointed at a rather loudly shaking hedge. Kiba blinked stupidly

"Is the hedge high?". Naruto rolled his eyes for once he was being the smart one.

And unsurprising the hedge broke, revealing two horny adolescent men. One was holding a camera. Naruto and Kiba stared at Shikamaru and Neji,

" their about to have a pillow fight" Neji drooled and then jumped ten feet in the air when he realized that Naruto and Kiba were watching them with the famous Uchiha brat following. Shikamaru had a Polaroid in his hand when he turned out to find out why neji had stopped manically laughing. He dropped the Polaroid and immediately adopted his "cool" pose once more Neji copied him and said

"oh hey losers" Naruto snorted

"real smooth you guys, just so not obvious, we saw you" Kiba held up his camera,

"we got pictures to, and more blackmail" he mocked. Shikamaru slouched,

"oh shit" he muttered. Kiba turned on his sly grin, which both Naruto and Sasuke understood more than ever.

"And lets just say that if the girls in there knew about you being out here, you would be saying a hell of a lot more than shit" Shikamaru grimaced, Neji turned to him,

"they are right for once". Shikamaru nodded in a stunted silence. Neji turned to Kiba and Naruto

"alright what do we have to do" Neji's head bent down in shame. Sasuke chirped up behind Naruto just as Kiba opened his mouth to speak.

"we get to be bait, and you have to bath that thing". He points to the mud ball that tore across the street. Neji remained silent, he did not want to repeat last years incident. However shikamaru could not keep his mouth shut.

"what do you mean bait". Naruto pointed inside the house,

"bait for them, need I say more" All the guys in the circle shivered, except Sasuke, he wasn't really a guy anyways.

* * *

Meanwhile inside the house, the girls were having the time of their lives. Listening to music, putting on mud masks (or in Temari's case a sand mask) and killing each other with pillows. And suddenly they heard a very strange noise that didn't belong to music, it was the sound of a very persistent doorbell. Ino turned down the music, glanced at Sakura, who had a very pleased look on her face, and opened the door. To reveal four sexy shirtless guys on her doorstep. Ino stared in wonder, then turned to Sakura,

"what did you order"

"I dunno but it wasn't this"

Temari, Ten Ten, and Hinata followed them out and began to drool, while Hinata fainted and fell on some very well placed pillows that seemingly sprung from nowhere, and looked up to see a shirtless Naruto staring down at her. Kiba stepped out form behind the guys,

"take your pick ladies, but first you have to help me"

* * *

A/N 

Ok now we have realized the stupidity of our actions and have decided to give out our names, YAY cheer Alexa is the owner of this cursed account, while Taylor is the strange random side of this story. YAY SEE oh and for a fact Taylor is a girl not a guy.

People we bring pairings next chappy

Now, REVIEW


	5. Door 7

Akamaru's Bath Day CH.5

Disclaimer: We still don't own Naruto but I do own this computer, wait my mom bought it, Damn it

Taylor: **snickers**

Alexa: Nooo my computer

Naruto: Compooter?

Gaara: **strangles with sand** nooo clue

Sasuke: **glares prissily**

Taylor: **gouges out Sasuke's eyeballs with spoon**

Alexa: …..Ok now we start the story 0.o

A/N: We take the few reviewers thing off the summary and people stop reviewing, what is wrong with you, also more bashings, we may post story with no pairings so feel free to give us ideas

* * *

_Ch.4_

_Temari, Ten Ten, and Hinata followed them out and began to drool, while Hinata fainted and fell on some very well placed pillows that seemingly sprung from nowhere, and looked up to see a shirtless Naruto staring down at her. Kiba stepped out form behind the guys,_

"_take your pick ladies, but first you have to help me"_

* * *

"What now mutt" said Temari, tearing her eyes away from the almost naked guys. Ino smirked

"whats wrong Kiba need help tying your shoes again"

"my shoes don't have laces" Kiba looked down, there we laces on his ninja shoes,

"when the hell did those get there" Kiba looked up from his shoes, and regained his composure,

"no actually I need help bathing my dog". The girls who had been present at last years incident shivered. Temari meanwhile said

"so it's a dog what wrong with bathing a dog?" said the clueless kunochi. Ino stared,

"Oh yeah I forgot you weren't there last time" she said horrified. Sakura meanwhile had made their decision for them.

"ok we'll do it" said Sakura eyeing Sasuke, who backed away from pink haired scary lady.

"WHAT! NOOO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'LL DO IT!" screamed three girls, Hinata was to busy staring at the oblivious Naruto to notice. Kiba grinned

"hey its not that bad, if you help me I'll give you a free date with the guy of your choice" he casually remarked.

This time it was the guys turn to scream bloody murder

"WHAT! HELL NO!" screamed the four guys. Kiba appeared behind the guys and whispered one word,

"blackmail". All of the girls looked extremely hurt and pissed off as in ready to kill pissed. Some how four of the girls had weapons in their hands except Hinata who we all know is to sweet to do something like that right?……RIGHT!

All of the guys sweat-dropped and stepped a couple feet back, big feet. Kiba meanwhile whispered bloody blackmail into all of their ears, they instantly held their ranks, like a group of well trained army soldiers……shirtless. The weapons were put away. Kiba stepped up to Temari,

"Temari, any chance you could drag your brothers into this" Temari looked horrified for the first time in her life, then grinned.

"Well I was looking for an excuse to use my new Kankuro make up hidey hole, and the new Gaara blackmail thing" Temari laughed evilly.

"Ok now we need to organize this mission, one group will go to get Akamaru and the other shall help Temari get her brothers, oh and for those going to get Temari's brothers, bring weapons and be prepared, ok group one is Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Naruto, Hinata, and ME". Sasuke unable to hold it any longer, finally cracked,

"YOUR PUTTING ME WITH OBSESSIVE FANGIRLS! ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE? THEY'LL TEAR ME APART". Kiba grinned,

"that's kinda the point". Naruto was fuming,

"and of course Sasukes on my team as usual". Kiba rolled his eyes,

"I am so glad I have blackmail on them or they wouldn't agree to this". Totally pissed and thoroughly disgusted with each other, the groups set off in their separate directions. Group one head for the downtown part of Konoha.

"how hard can it be to find a dirty mutt" said Sasuke, Naruto retorted

"not that hard since he's standing in front of me, the catching part is tricky". Sakura and Ino were to busy staring at Sasuke to reply.

* * *

Meanwhile in group B Shikamaru and Temari were having a shouting match.

"Temari why wont you tell me pleeeeaaaaaaaassssee" Shikamaru begged pitifully, Temari stared at the stupid ninja.

"How about NO!" Temari plastered the evil grin on her face. Neji stared at Shikamaru and said to Ten Ten

"I thought he was to lazy to beg and shout". Ten Ten rolled her eyes,

"you learn something new everyday" . Temari was back to yelling at the grovelling Shikamaru,

"BECAUSE ITS NOT BLACKMAIL IF SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS IT!". Shikamaru finally clamed up long enough for them to get moving back towards the hotel where her two siblings were currently residing. As they approached the street, Neji broke into a crazed laughter,

"Where….exactly…did…you…say…the….Kazekage….was…staying" He choked. Temari pointed at the shabby hotel that tilted in front. Neji broke into a grin,

"the shame, the shame" He said cackling madly. The group sweat dropped and backed away from the mentally instable Neji.

"Right, Neji wait outside and the rest of you come with me". Temari glared at the laughing Hyuuga, and motioned for them to follow, except him. Temari entered the building followed by the slightly terrified group B. Temari entered the building, headed up the mouldy, disturbing stairs, and paused at Door 7.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for long wait for updating, we were busy enjoying the summer sun and the exams, which incidentally weren't so enjoyable.'

Next Chapter Tease: Kankuro was staring in fear at his hovering sibling, but turned his head when Temari entered, quick as flash he ran around her hand placed Temari between him and Gaara.

Now my little minions give us millions of reviews we wont update without 10 reviews, so now I command to review. **Commands**

PS: Note there is hardly any Sasuke bashing in this chappy, more next time, **cackles evilly**


	6. Invisible Minion

Akamaru's Bath Day

Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the long update. We were both travelling A LOT and we were waiting for a 10th review which we DID NOT get. But alas we were bored and felt the **cough** artistic vibe and needed to update.

Taylor: YAY **sings** Guess whos back, back again we are back, tell some men……..

Alexa: **slaps** SHUT UP! **eats noodles**

All Naruto Characters: **stares**

Kiba: But I don't wanna bath Akamaru HE BITES

Gaara: **gags Kiba,** **absolute defence against the maniacs **

Temari: WTF?

Taylor: It blames you **points at Alexa**

Alexa: I feel prosecuted

Disclaimer: BLAH BLAH BLAH It owns you

* * *

Last Chapter Tease: _Kankuro was staring in fear at his hovering sibling, but turned his head when Temari entered, quick as flash he ran around her and placed his female sibling between him and Gaara._

Kankuro shivered behind Temari while Gaara mentally smites him.

"If you don't give me back Mr. Fuzzles this instant I'll go Shukaku on your ass" Gaara grinned at the thought of being able to unleash his demon. Shikamaru stared quizzically at Temari and then at Kankuro who was turning a pale-white colour.

"Who or what is Mr. Fuzzles?" Shikamaru asked innocently.

Temari didn't answer him and instead turned to her oh-so calm and collected sibling and gave him a death so severe it could rival Gaara's

"What. Did. You. Do. With. The. Bear?" she demanded in a low dangerous tone that scares even the writers.

"I didn't do anything. I didn't steal it. I'm innocent I SWEAR!" The poor puppet master spluttered out shivering.

Kankuro was now turning a nasty sick pasty colour and looked on the verge of passing out. He felt oddly trapped between his two glaring siblings. At that moment he wasn't sure of which one he was more afraid. The cat-hatted man looked franticly around the room searching for an escape route, then all of the sudden his eyes locked on Shikamaru, the only non-hostile person in the room who wasn't giving him death glares. Without further adieu, Kankuro raced around his sister and latched himself on the waist of a very shocked and disturbed Shikamaru.

" Pleeaaase SAVE ME. THEIR GONNA KILL ME. HELP!" The puppet master had gone past the stage of being petrified and was now just hysterical.

Gaara stared in disgust at his blubbering sibling, who seemed to have come down with a sudden case of homoness. He slid off his sand and walked away leaving a pissed off Temari and a now very

Empty-bladder Kankuro in his wake.

"Forget it, I won't waste my valuable time on a homo like you" Deadpanned Gaara who was now heading for the door.

Temari saw the opportunity and decided not to waste it, she stepped around Gaara and said:

"No you'll waste your valuable on helping me instead."

"And why exactly would I do that?" said Gaara, who was quickly losing his non-existent patience.

It was here that Temari decided to place her trump card, and well placed it was.

"Because if you don't help me I won't give back Mr. Fuzzles" she smirked watching the glare slide off Gaara's face only to be replaced with dismay.

Meanwhile Shikamaru was still struggling with the middle sibling who was older, bigger and fatter and who was still clinging to him. Then suddenly he remembered that he had an IQ of over 200 and that he was a ninja.

Quickly he activated his shadow jutsu and removed the annoying leech (notice how there is no little in that sentence) and regained his breath. He stepped away from Kankuro who seemed to be quickly recovering now that his siblings were occupied.

"Where did you put my bear?" Gaara demanded with one of his infamous glares.

"Now now don't give me that look" said Temari who was thoroughly enjoying herself "I told you I would give it back if you helped me now didn't I?"

Gaara was trapped. Gaara did not like being trapped. He was the one who usually trapped people, HE WAS NOT HAPPY, but like I said he was trapped and forced to ask the dreaded question.

"What exactly do you have in mind?"

* * *

Meanwhile with Kibas group, Akamaru was proving to be very elusive and Sasuke was proving to be very whiney.

"This is too hard that mutt is too fast we should stop, he stinks enough anyways I don't think a bath will improve it" complained Sasuke who was managing to keep his emo look (barely).

"shut up you emo stop being a wuss" said Naruto who was taking every opportunity to bash Sasuke.

"HEY DON'T BASH SASUKE BAKA!" screamed the maniac fan girls at the same time.

Sakura punched Naruto's head into the ground while Ino glared at Sakura. Kiba and Hinata distanced themselves away from the peanut galleries, and were currently doing their jobs and looking for Akamaru while trying to cope with the noise from the now screaming crowd to their left.

Meanwhile Hinata with her Byakugan was kicking major ass. Hinata had found the dirtiest most disgusting thing on the planet. 'Oh wait' she thought 'that's Kiba, I meant to find Akamaru'. All then inside of and upturned garbage can, she found him, sniffing something that looked like a mouldy half-chewed hairless dog.

"OH MY GOD I FOUND HIM SNIFFING SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE NARUTO'S ASS!" screamed Hinata, then she blushed madly and fainted. Everyone turned to stare, just in time to see Akamaru jump over Hinata and run blindly in the opposite direction.

"Screw Naruto's ass catch the damn dog" yelled Kiba. Then everyone except Hinata and Naruto, who mumbled incoherently and wandered off with a thought of black curtains for his windows, and strangely Kiba screwing Naruto's ass….which disturbed him, less than Kiba normally did, ran after. All the other ninjas went into hard kick-ass ninja mode, and chased after the strangely illusive puppy. Ino attempted her mind controlling jutsu, and ended up controlling Rock Lee instead, who stopped and stared as most of the Genin ran after a small white thing, that was really fast. Ino went all tantrumy and ended up screaming at the poor innocent spandy clad……thingy. Rock Lee stared in amazement 'wow she can actually see me' he thought,

Ino concluded that thought..

"What its not like your invis-strong deodorant….are you?" she smirked.

"I'm invisible, you cant see me BE GONE!" he screamed in agony. Ino let him out of her mind jutsu, then he pranced off, muttering something about being Gai's little invisible minion. Ino paused and stared at the drunk Rock Lee, then she realised that Lee wasn't drunk he was just always like that, silly Pig. Then Naruto came back and used his oh-so-awesome Shadow Clone jutsu. Five clones appeared, Akamaru bit one, Kiba the smart cookie he was thought it was evil and attacked another. The clones left ran after Akamaru and miraculously caught him, but poofed away when Naruto fell asleep. Everyone stopped and stared at the lethargic Naruto, Kiba just shook his head but an idea was forming in his small pathetic peanut gallery sized brain.

Tenten made small cooing noises as the deranged Hyuuga prodigy was curled in the fetal position and mummering with maniacal laughter. Tenten was beyond scared, she was terrified, Neji had only been like this once before when, (A/n: guess what? ITS FLASHBACK TIME)

**FLASHBACK **

_Its Friday night. In the village of Konoha all is silent……well almost. Down a back alley and through a field of man-eating daisies, there is a house. A seemingly normal house with an all girls sleepover, until this fateful night, when a terrified blood-curdling scream emits, breaking the nightly silence._

"_HOW DARE YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR, THERES NO POINT IN LIVING IF I CANT BE BEAUTIFUL! _

_Screamed Neji as he stared the mirror, only to see a problem, a very bright problem, a problem made of pink. The girls giggled manically as he dropped onto his knees dramatically and prayed to the fates it was temporary. Tenten picked up the box, giggled so loudly and handed it to Ino, who then shoved it underneath Neji's nose._

"_My Neji looks what it says, its underneath the flap" grinned Ino happily. Neji's hand trembled as he moved the flap, and his eyes watered at the sight,_

_on the box in big heartbreaking letters, there was one word._

_**PERMANENT! **_

_**USE AT OWN RISK**_

_Neji died inside, then turned to the source of his torture Rock Lee._

"_HOW IS IT FUNNY TO BOTHER 5 VERY HYPER GIRLS, EPSPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE HAIR DYE! I BLAME YOU!"_

**END FLASHBACK**

Tenten was thoughtful, 'I remember that night, Neji fell asleep for 5 minutes and Rock Lee took full advantage, if only Neji hadn't dropped that stink bomb'. A satisfied Temari, a skittish Kankuro, and a very pissed off Gaara, exited the rundown hotel. Where upon Neji broke into crazed laughter.

* * *

A/N: YAY WE ARE BACK, alright 10 reviews or no updates for a month, also we need you to vote in your reviews.

Yes for slight parings and one Yaoi

No for nothing of the bloody sort!

Now the purple lobsters command you VOTE OR DIE! Or just R&R!

PS: updates may be delayed as one of the authors is leaving for some cold desolate place.

-Caffeinated Narutards


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